JOE?

Usually I tend to not post personal information, but sometimes I feel that I must let everyone know how I feel day to day or various other things…Recently, I have been involved with two very important people, we will call them Joe’s. Joe 1 and Joe’2. Joe number one is a hard working guy who is romantic, sweet, funny, athletic and has an accent. My problem is that Me and him decided that I did not have the same feelings. Joe number two is the kind of guy you wouldnt normally bring home to mom. Although, he has the ability to fall for a couger, haha. Me and him had a strange relationship I liked him he didnt like me, he liked me it was a bad time, and I wasnt looking. Now he has also moved two states away to follow his dream. He is living the party life and getting paid for it… Well we still talk on a somewhat regular basis although I am usually the one calling and he has yet to make the inititative. 

The entire summer I have been single and just traveling. I have traveled on my own and visited a few friends here and there. I get to NMSU and I go to socials and a few parties looking for some hopefulls. I then decided guys are way to flirtacous and in the end they arent attracted to you. I am very picky so I decided to stop you know, flirting without a cause and just wait.

I then start talking to this guy on a social network of mine who is a film major who looked super interesting… So, here I go sticking my neck out again for the last time. I decdided that I was going to ask him to see a movie… Silly right? should this be the guys job? who knows? so I send him a note over this social network… Purposly not running into him on campus so as to not show my embarrassed face to him. He messaged me back in  a video and told me he actually was interested in me ever since he saw me.

We hang one day before the actual movie date…and after a few falls, back flips, rock concert dancing and mustache parties. We decide to go on an official date to the movies in El Paso, Texas. I get dressed to impress and as did he. We drove to El Paso and he had already purchased tickets to this amazing plaza theatre and we watched ‘REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE’ with James Dean. It was so pretty inside the theatre. He then takes me to eat some pizza after building a cup sculpture of his face we visit his house. He sais he has this plan, I have no idea what he is thinking about… He drives to a park where we can see the city lights and the El Paso star… He puts on music, first thing on his music list is Frank Sinatra. Koolaid is the next thing I see with swirly straws hanging out of each drink and as he sings to me he asks me to officially be his girlfriend. I was in such a trance… I said ‘YES’ and even now my fingers quiver with a sence of remembrance of the actual moment. So, today is a new day and even though it is a new realationship I cant wait for tommorow.

An old survey.

-What are three words that your friends would use to describe you and why?

My friends have always described me as spontaneous, full of life, and compassionate.
I have never asked them why because I try to involve them in all of my adventures and we have stayed close at heart even though they are states apart right now.
I always have programs going on with different non-profit organizations and or with students that I am working with whom are apart my LLC. I am currently a peer advisor for the fine arts department at NMSU. Working with those kids really made me happy.

- List two books that you have read in the past 12 months and briefly describe why they have been meaningful to you.
One which I am currently reading is called “A New Earth Awakening to your Life’s Purpose” by:Eckhart Tolle. I have currently been going through some issues of finding myself and I do believe it is a life time piece of work. I also think it is important to open your mind to others beliefs and values while learning who you are. Another is slightly a smaller read. “Spirits Rebellious” by: Kahlil Gibran and there are various stories of others lives and how they are wrongly accused through life and their very own survival. This book has helped me see the different problems in the world which are possible and has taught me that my life is not the way everyone else’s is lived. There for I am going to school to become an art therapist. To help and do what I can for man kind.
-Many students at CSF have a desire to be change agents in today’s society, be it politics, education, the death penalty, environmental sustainability, or social change through art. If you could change the way society views a particular issue, what would it be?
Discrimination against religious values and beliefs. I would like to get rid of the bias and the internal abuse between the many different sorts of people. Although this may not change I have made a large impact not only on myself, my family and various friends I have felt that I a have also made an impact on those whom have seemed very uneasy about such topics. I feel such conversation should not end in argument nor began there either but to start at a point of just listening and in large groups along with mediation of sorts. I love people and i respect their ways of living and i think such frame of thinking needs to start with empathy and the rest is a giant roller-coaster of understanding and listening.

-What is your favorite quote and why?
I am Not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, I am who You think I think I am.-Karl Marx This quote has taken me through many loop holes in my life since my middle school years. I first learned of it in my sociology class in the 8th grade. I have learned that finding who you really think you are is a complicated process so all you can try to to do is be true to your self be being compassionate and genuine. Which will lead you away from not knowing who you are and finding that you will learn to know yourself more then others think they may know you.

- As a young person, facing questions of ethics, honesty, and integrity are often challenging. Please share a recent ethical dilemma you faced.

This may be a small ethical dilemma but I fought through it each step of the way. As you know I am a student of NMSU. I was riding in vehicle with a friend of mine. I being the passenger, starts to notice that there is no parking available close to the building.So my friend parks in the handicap and tells me to wait there and make sure he doesn’t get a ticket. Their where only two parking spots available for handicap in front of the school and the other was occupied so I told him that this is not fair to those whom have heart conditions and so on and so forth. We got into a huge argument so instead of allowing him to have his way I told him if he leaves I will leave the vehicle and undoubtedly he would get a ticket because he had no right parking in the spot, he had no disabilities at all. So he eventually moved and as soon as he moved a young handicap person drove up and he realized he was in the wrong.

Fear

Fearing the first step. Lately I have had a real problem with leaving my house. Looking outside and seeing people outside has made me want to stay inside. Everyone and there places to go and places to be. Me not having things that I have to do but mainly things that don’t have to get done by any sort of deadline. I have to do laundry and there is a laundry mat up the road, not to far from here and I am putting it off, simply because I don’t want any interaction. I don’t want people to see me. I don’t want to see anyone either. Now don’t get me wrong if there was no other existence of life out in the world I would be super depressed but this last couple of days, I just don’t want to step outside knowing that someone will see me. I know that is strange. A magic cloak would be super helpful right now. I just slip that on and I wont worry about being seen or people wanting to talk to me. I feel like a jerk when I say that but today its just how I feel. [sigh] I guess I should just go! Maybe its the fact that I actually have to do laundry and the laundry place that I see up the road looks a little sketchy. Maybe i’d be more enthusiastic about going to a different laundry mat? I don’t know. I am going to go. Right Now…

This Land!

I have always considered myself a day dreamer. I know that driving and looking around is not such a good idea but in New Mexico its kinda hard not to picture how beautiful the land is. I never experienced a better sky than the one in the land of enchantment. The clouds and how they imitate the mountains and how the mountains kinda look like many small animals. If you ever look at a mountain long enough its shapes and shadows start to look like the animals that live in them. I walk to hang my clothes out on a line and I just walk out the door and the birds are there to greet me and the trees are whistling at me. This land is so beautiful. I wish I could show the world what I see with out any one wanting to have apiece of it. Yes, I am selfish when it comes to this little town. Santa Fe once had the same beautiful glow and now it is everyones favorite vacation place.

On My way home…;(

I know its late but this is around the time I get most of my inspiration. Actually, I couldn’t sleep because my moms late night singing is keeping me up. So as you can now tell I am no longer in Las Cruces. I left around noon to get a slightly early start. I was driving down from Las Cruces and this trip was the longest trip I have had in a long time. Enjoying my drive I get passed Hatch and I pass up Garfield I then reach Williamsburg and I hear a small pop, at first I thought it was something that might have hit the front of the vehicle. I didn’t feel a change so I wasn’t worried because it wasn’t a loud noise. I had a flat tire, I pulled over and I couldn’t find a jack nor could I figure out how to get the tire out of this crazy pulley system. Any way, long story short a state police officer came by and helped me figure it out. I then got as far as belen and I was so tired, so I took a nap. Which really didn’t happen because of all the traffic and the stupid fly’s I couldn’t shoe out of the truck earlier. I drove until the next exit got some coffee filled up on gas. Little tired and now a little wired. So I am driving along, LALALA, just cruising along. Then BAM! I hit traffic not only the five o’clock traffic but there was a huge accident on the high way which I didn’t see even existed until two and half hours later. I hope anyone in the vehicle is doing alright.

I pass Santa Fe then bam 10 min. before I hit my home exit I run into a DUI check. I call my mom and ask her where all of her information is and of course her insurance isn’t updated. I was almost screwed although they noticed it wasn’t updated they simply said get that taken care of soon and let me pass, they must have had bigger things to concentrate on like alcoholics. So I finally get home and I am exhausted. I eat because i hadn’t eaten and my mom made a little food for me. I lied down soon after and I am so exhausted that I just pass out. My mom wakes me up to tell me to go to my grandmothers with her, but I could barely keep my eyes open. So she leaves without me I fall asleep again. I wake up and my jaw is super swollen! How the heck does that happen! It doesn’t look like a bug bite and I cant figure it out. So its gonna be about two o’clock and my face is still swollen. It could have been the food? Or a bug bite with no trace it makes no SENCE! Ugh. Oh well, at least the drive had a good scenery.