Me and Aubrey… many moons ago

Last week I was…

I am sitting outside watching some fun people doing fun things… I am not sure what they are doing but they are having a great time. I love to watch people have a great time. They are speaking another language and dancing? I am not sure what they are doing exactly… haha. There is no music! haha, this is pretty entertaining and fun.

I am having fun watching them have fun. I always wonder what everyone is thinking about but mostly I love to hear people speaking another language and enjoying their lives! How fun it is to be yourself. Well, I may not know if they are being themselves around each other but they are all dressed differently yet, still laughing at the same time. I am also a sucker for laughter.

Laughter. I miss that genuine laughter. Being older you have more responsibilities with your laughter. You must always be cautious, you are constantly being judged by the people around you… If you laugh at the wrong thing or at the wrong time it can cost you more than you could imagine. A job, friendship, boyfriend, girlfriend sometimes even family. How to hold in that feeling!? It is a difficult thing.

Getting ready to go to work not enthused at all. I would like to practice my spanish I will so devote an entire blog to be spanish written! Soon.

Living by the Moment

Its really hard to shut myself from the world and want to change it at the same time. I find that i become more frustrated with every test i take that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere that i really want to go. As much as I love school I hate these classes that are postponing my dream to one day become an art therapist. I really aim to help people. I don’t really want to market my Art but I know many people would like a piece of that feeling that others put into paper. People are so interesting and are constantly needing someone to talk to and I love being that person…

My only problem is that I try to tackle to much and make the people I know and help a priority over my school work. Am I the only person who does this!!! I am not sure if using the skills i learn from psychology to help others is ok if I have a history test coming up and I should study for that but knowing that I helped someone figure out a major mental crisis is much more fulfilling then learning about all the many european kings and the way they failed at conquering land and power for there own selfish honor.

I would like to bring My focus to the people I work for (My friends and strangers) and they may not know it but I openly ask them many questions knowing that they are unsatisfied with what they feel they have been handed in this world. Whether or not i give them advice I am either learning something new or helping them become satisfied with that moment because we all know we are not satisfied with our lives all the time… Moment by moment is the only way to truly satisfy our littlest and biggest needs.

The good, the bad, the past…

So, today… I woke up on the right side of the bed literally…In fact I woke up holding a blue stuffed bear and a poster declaring its victory after selfishly steeling my sleep from me. I realize that at this point I still have about an hour before I actually have to wake up. An hour before waking up to me is the most crucial of time slots! I find my eyes opening every so often at every sound that sturs. Such as a cough from the room next to me and or the singing from my radio which had once helped me in my time of slumber.

I have been sleeping extremely well since I arrived to campus, although lately their has been a disturbance in the back of my mind an almost bitter sweet day dream slash night mare. I have a tendency to think of my past mostly all the good things that happen but sometimes and not often there are good memories attached to now changed thoughts.

When I was a kid me and my friends used to get kicked outside by our parents because they didn’t want us to bother them inside the household. So we would meddle at the junk yards and make up games for ourselves. One day we were excited to be nuisance which we never did intentionally. We found an old Barbie jeep. The kind that the 5 year olds used to ride with a battery in it. Well, the one we found did not have a battery in it and it was beat up but if you pushed it the steering still worked. After we where way to exhausted of pushing each other around town in this little jeep we decide its a good idea to take it down a very steep hill. So me and my cousins got to the top of this really dangerous hill and passed up on coming vehicles until we tumbled over and laughed at our new bruises. HAHa

This Blog is in Memory of Chris Griego…Gonna miss you buddy.

JOE?

Usually I tend to not post personal information, but sometimes I feel that I must let everyone know how I feel day to day or various other things…Recently, I have been involved with two very important people, we will call them Joe’s. Joe 1 and Joe’2. Joe number one is a hard working guy who is romantic, sweet, funny, athletic and has an accent. My problem is that Me and him decided that I did not have the same feelings. Joe number two is the kind of guy you wouldnt normally bring home to mom. Although, he has the ability to fall for a couger, haha. Me and him had a strange relationship I liked him he didnt like me, he liked me it was a bad time, and I wasnt looking. Now he has also moved two states away to follow his dream. He is living the party life and getting paid for it… Well we still talk on a somewhat regular basis although I am usually the one calling and he has yet to make the inititative. 

The entire summer I have been single and just traveling. I have traveled on my own and visited a few friends here and there. I get to NMSU and I go to socials and a few parties looking for some hopefulls. I then decided guys are way to flirtacous and in the end they arent attracted to you. I am very picky so I decided to stop you know, flirting without a cause and just wait.

I then start talking to this guy on a social network of mine who is a film major who looked super interesting… So, here I go sticking my neck out again for the last time. I decdided that I was going to ask him to see a movie… Silly right? should this be the guys job? who knows? so I send him a note over this social network… Purposly not running into him on campus so as to not show my embarrassed face to him. He messaged me back in  a video and told me he actually was interested in me ever since he saw me.

We hang one day before the actual movie date…and after a few falls, back flips, rock concert dancing and mustache parties. We decide to go on an official date to the movies in El Paso, Texas. I get dressed to impress and as did he. We drove to El Paso and he had already purchased tickets to this amazing plaza theatre and we watched ‘REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE’ with James Dean. It was so pretty inside the theatre. He then takes me to eat some pizza after building a cup sculpture of his face we visit his house. He sais he has this plan, I have no idea what he is thinking about… He drives to a park where we can see the city lights and the El Paso star… He puts on music, first thing on his music list is Frank Sinatra. Koolaid is the next thing I see with swirly straws hanging out of each drink and as he sings to me he asks me to officially be his girlfriend. I was in such a trance… I said ‘YES’ and even now my fingers quiver with a sence of remembrance of the actual moment. So, today is a new day and even though it is a new realationship I cant wait for tommorow.